My Truth and Occasional Downfall

I have the need to be open and honest about who I am here on Kimmy Sharing Light. Why? Cause it isn't all about butterflies and angels,

Years ago, I blogged before blogging was cool.  I actually still have the Yahoo Group Soulthoughts. I have posts dating back to 2004, and some before that from Diaryland that I transferred in 2004.

Those were dark days. I go back and read them from time to time, and wonder how anyone dealt with my psychosis. I took everything as a personal slam.

I bashed others in return. I wanted to fight. I wanted the truth about me, and where I was going in life.

As a borderline personality, as stated in Girl, Interrupted, I thought I was completely messed up for life. But a strange thing happened when I would re-read my words. I realized "Kimmy" was the problem, and not the people around me. As years went by, I found that by writing in a journal, I could go back and laugh at myself, or worse, cringe on how freakin crazy I am.

Somewhere in 2005-2006, I went on my "spiritual" journey. I was free from hate, and was able to embrace all. Jesus, spirituality, Yoga, exercise, eating well. My life was probably the best ever.

Then life caught up. Work was at it's low. Money was tight, and alcohol was a great, great release. I could drink a bottle of RUM, and a six pack.  It did nothing for my relationships, but I was able to escape all the toils of the day.

I have spent the last few years, since 2007, trying to seek again on what my role is in this life. This is another reason for Sharing Light in my journey. Sometimes my readers that "know" me in real life think I am talking about them. 99% of the time, I am talking about ME. But there are times, that I use my website to respond to something I saw, or heard.  However, ALL of the time, is to speak my mind about responsibility and accountability. I mean it, how can we as the human culture get better, if we are constantly looking for someone or something to BLAME!  That doesn't help anyone, especially our young minds that look to us to learn the right way. My mom use to blame my friends, one friend in particular for all my bad deeds. My mom didn't get that she was enabling me to always find someone else at fault. It took decades to learn that lesson on my own.

Besides work, home, and raising my daughter, who is 19 and needs to learn better than I did, I just try to focus on the moment I am in.  I have been sober since December 2009, and not interested in drinking at all. I recently quit smoking too. I miss the menthol cigarettes, but it was time. I didn't want to quit, but I did want the money from the cigarettes.

As for friendships, it's not my specialty. LOL. I tend to speak my mind.  I am not the type of friend that holds your hand you are touching a hot stove. I take a pan, and beat you over the head with it. I noticed people don't like that. I don't care. Accept everything about yourself - I mean everything, You are you and that is the beginning and the end - no apologies, no regrets.

Sharing light with Kimmy.  My Truth and Occasional Downfall.

Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes.

Photo taken from Girl.Interrupted.  My girl Angelina Jolie.

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Sia - Breathe Me

Lyrics to Breathe Me

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I'm needy
Warm me up
And breathe me


Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes.

Are you with your true Soul Mate? Are you compatible emotionally and mentally? Try a free sample Soul Mate Compatibility reading. Sphere: Related Content

The YEAR of Alyssa

As my post hits the online waves, my daughter is starting her 2nd year at McHenry County College in her Speech class.  She decided to only take nine credit hours this semester, as she is now working full time for an IT company.

This is truly her year.

It is not just about her working and in school.  It is about trials and tribulations in her life that she had to accept responsibility for, forgive herself, and move on to the next phase.

As a parent, you cannot find excuses for "why".  Because why simply does not matter.

What poor decisions did she make last year?  What could she have done differently?  Is the mistake fixable?

And most importantly, she needed to make the decision what to do going forward.

Now, school starting again, and Alyssa has been studying for her A+ certifications. Alyssa filled in again at the same company this summer, and this time they hired her full time, since she is taking night classes instead. Alyssa chose to take night classes, not mom and dad.  And the choice paid off.

We wish our daughter a great year of learning, growing into a fine young woman. We know she will struggle at times, as we all do. Having an open relationship, as well as room to fail, and learn and grow will aid her in molding her adult life.

Love, Mom and Dad

Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes. Are you with your true Soul Mate? Are you compatible emotionally and mentally? Try a free sample Soul Mate Compatibility reading. Sphere: Related Content

Solitude

Make regular time for yourself where you can be totally alone.

A quiet place is preferable.

Just sit quietly with no expectations.

This may feel very uncomfortable and strange in the beginning. Persist and practice!

You need to give time and space for your inner voice to make itself heard.

With this solitude, it will occur or you will know exactly what you need to hear. With solitude, you will get a sudden flash of intense insight.

Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes. Are you with your true Soul Mate? Are you compatible emotionally and mentally? Try a free sample Soul Mate Compatibility reading. Sphere: Related Content

Coloured By A Different Light

The colours are different,
Through different seasons,
Through different eyes,
For different reasons,
Coloured by a different light.

Our demands are different,
As are our needs,
As are our wants,
As are our greeds,
Coloured by a different light.

Shadows shade the changes
As the sun changes position;
Each minute is now
Focused from a new direction,
Coloured by a different light.

The world grows old, designed, restyled.
Upon the day, within the hour,
A newborn child,
The bloom of a flower,
Coloured by a different light.

The truth, misplaced, abused.
The whole damn muddle contradicts;
A soul confused,
But the pattern fits,
Coloured by a different light.

The circle points the way;
Learning to conceive, perceive, understand;
Accepting the shadows, realise change;
Reaching in reflection for want of a hand,
Coloured by a different light.

© Tim Rees
Please visit Tim Rees at his website here.

Follow Tim Rees (stillsoul) on Twitter

Thank you Tim for allowing me to use your wonderful poem. 

Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes. Are you with your true Soul Mate? Are you compatible emotionally and mentally? Try a free sample Soul Mate Compatibility reading. Sphere: Related Content

The Dark Side of the Light Chasers

Love is inclusive: it accepts the full range of human emotion-the emotions we hide, the emotions we fear. 

Jung once said, "I'd rather be whole than good." 

How many of us have sold ourselves out in order to be good, to be liked, to be accepted? Most of us were raised to believe that people have good qualities and bad qualities. And in order to be accepted we had to get rid of our bad qualities, or at least hide them. 

This way of thinking happens when we begin to individuate, as we distinguish our fingers from the slats of our crib, and distinguish ourselves from our parents. But as we get older we realize an even greater truth that spiritually we are all interconnected. We are all part of each other. 

From this point of view we need to ask whether there really are good parts and bad parts of us. Or are all parts necessary to make a whole? Because how can we know good without knowing bad? How can we know love without knowing hate? How can we know courage without knowing fear?

This holographic model of the universe provides us with a revolutionary view of the connection between the inner and the outer world. According to this theory, every piece of the universe, no matter how we slice it, contains the intelligence of the whole. 

We, as individual beings, are not isolated and random. Each of us is a microcosm that reflects and contains the macrocosm. "If this is true," says consciousness researcher Stanislav Grof, "then we each hold the potential for having direct and immediate experiential access to virtually every aspect of the universe, extending our capacities well beyond the reach of our senses." We all contain the imprint of the entire universe within ourselves. As Deepak Chopra puts it, "We are not in the world, but the world is within us." 

Each of us possess every existing human quality. There is nothing we can see or conceive that we are not, and the purpose of our journey is to restore ourselves to this wholeness. The saintly and the cynical, the divine and the diabolical, the courageous and the cowardly: all these aspects lie dormant in us and will act out if they are not recognized and integrated into our psyches. 

Many of us are frightened of the light as well as the dark. Many of us are frightened to look within ourselves, and fear has us put up walls so thick we no longer remember who we really are.

Sharing light with Debbie Ford, ©1998. Love, Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes.

Are you with your true Soul Mate? Are you compatible emotionally and mentally? Try a free sample Soul Mate Compatibility reading. Sphere: Related Content

Do you say it? Thank you!

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice.

Eckhart von Hochheim, commonly known as Meister Eckhart.

Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes. Sphere: Related Content

Angels Unaware

It was a rainy night in New Orleans
At a bus station in the town,
I watched a young girl weeping
As her baggage was taken down.

It seems she'd lost her ticket
Changing buses in the night.
She begged them not to leave her there
With no sign of help in sight.

The bus driver had a face of stone
And his heart was surely the same.
"Losing your ticket's like losing cash money" he said,
And left her in the rain.




Then an old Indian man stood up
And blocked the driver's way
And would not let him pass before
He said what he had to say.
"How can you leave that girl out there?
Have you no God to fear?
You know she had a ticket.
You can't just leave her here.

You can't put her out in a city
Where she doesn't have a friend.
You will meet your schedule,
But she might meet her end."

The driver showed no sign
That he'd heard or even cared
About the young girl's problem
Or how her travels fared.

So the old gentleman said,
"For her fare I'll pay.
I'll give her a little money
To help her on her way."

He went and bought the ticket
And helped her to her place
And helped her put her baggage
In the overhead luggage space.

"How can I repay," she said,
"the kindness you've shown tonight?
We're strangers who won't meet again
A mere ' 'thank you ' doesn't seem right."

He said, "What goes around comes around.
This I've learned with time -
What you give, you always get back;
What you sow, you reap in kind.

Always be helpful to others
And give what you can spare;
For by being kind to strangers,
We help angels unaware."

Author Unknown

I know many of us might have seen this in the past.  But for me, this was the first time reading. Have a wonderful week.

Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes.

Are you with your true Soul Mate? Are you compatible emotionally and mentally? Try a free sample Soul Mate Compatibility reading. Sphere: Related Content

Truth in Enlightenment

I saw a quote yesterday.

"The Brighter the Light, the Darker the Shadow."

The quote hit home. 

With Enlightenment comes with the reality that you will have tough times as well. It doesn't matter how pure, how much meditation and prayer.  You WILL hit your lows.

For me, I can get nasty with others, family, friends, and that truly contradicts the entire, "Kimmy Sharing Light" focus.

If I manage not to take out my darkness on others at that time, for sure I will beat myself up in some way.

It was ironic yesterday, that I saw this quote during on of my darkest moments. I had family over, so I decided to just tackle the moment and cry. After a few hours I made a decision that my life was not worth living. Again with the dark shadow taking over. I was angry at myself, I was angry at others, and to pull myself out of it I chose music that fit the mood.

Disturbed
Shinedown
Iron Madien
The Who
Metallica

I chose some angry music to pacify the darkness. 

I know people are of the opinion that you have to stay positive, and always happy, and pure. That doesn't work for me. I have to acknowledge my emotions that I am feeling at the time, if I would like it to pass.

Kimmy Sharing Light is a reflection and combination of who I aspire to be. With Awareness of one's self, you have to be aware you WILL also have dark days.  Find what helps you through rather than push it down.

I am in a better place today, awake, and have a calmness about me.  I am not sure what today will bring. However, I know it will be truth. 

Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes. Sphere: Related Content

Be Empty

Dwell in the infinite.

Wander where there is no path.

Be all that heaven gave you,

but act as though you have received nothing.

Be empty, that is all. -- Chuang Tau

Sharing light with Kimmy.

Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes. Sphere: Related Content

Perception

Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes. Sphere: Related Content

Life is Nothing without Friendship

Hello to all of you, I would love to share the following with you written by Kahlil Gibran, he has long been a favourite Author of mine and I am sure he was indeed a prophet himself.

 

And a youth said, Speak to us of friendship.

And he answered, saying:

Your friend is your needs answered.

 

 

 

He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.

 

And he is your board and your fireside.

For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

 

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the 'nay' in your own mind, nor do you withhold the 'ay'.

And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;

 

For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

 

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;

 

For that which you love most in him will be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

 

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.

 

For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

 

And let the best be for your friend.

If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.

For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?

Seek him always with hours to live.

For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptyness.

 

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures.

For in the dew of the little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes. Sphere: Related Content

Love is never lost

Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart. Washington Irving

Happy Birthday to my wonderful husband. I love you. 

Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes. Sphere: Related Content

Beauty in Fear captured

It's not all that easy to see beauty in fear,
frozen in time as your world disappears.
It is part of the message required by life,
to see the reality ~ sometimes played out as strife.
 

Why take a ride that is not very clear,
placed in the position of a forced volunteer.
Trying to taste the unquenchable thirst,
learning the lessons for better or worse.

It's actually an experience like cause & effect,
the power of fury …not yet learned to direct.
Most say the vision is hard and intense,
some see the light from its harsh consequence.

It's part of the test spent in this paradigm,
to feel the hot summer in the cold wintertime.
Seeing life's opposites is a lot to digest,
the inverse reflection that has not manifest. - unknown

Photo found on Nature's Beauty And Fury In Pictures blog 


Images of nature's beauty and fury around the globe


Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes. Sphere: Related Content

Days of the Archangels

Days of the Archangels to ask for prayer and light! 


Find your angel!  Click here!

Invite the angels into your life.

The Angels are all around us. 

We can ask these beautiful beings of light to help and guide us whenever we are in need.  

See the transformations and blessings, these Celestial beings bring to you.



An Archangel rules each day of the week:

• The Archangel Michael rules Sunday
• The Archangel Gabriel rules Monday
• The Archangel Samuel rules Tuesday
• The Archangel Raphael rules Wednesday
• The Archangel Sachiel rules Thursday
• The Archangel Anael rules Friday
• The Archangel Cassiel rules Saturday

Blessed be to all! Namaste.

Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes. Sphere: Related Content

Freedom means accepting the rules of freedom

The one who wants freedom,

naturally accepts the rules that go untold.

He is willing to take responsibility for all his decisions and choices.

Such a person will never blame others but try to check his own mistakes.

When I take decisions with freedom and take responsibility for them,

I am able to learn from anything that goes wrong. I'll feel light and free yet with a base from where I can work.

Thus I find myself experiencing constant progress.

Freedom means accepting the rules of freedom.

Sharing light with Om Shanti.

Kimmy is striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes. Sphere: Related Content

Eagle Plain in honor of our Freedom

The American eagle is not aware he is the American eagle.

He is never tempted to look modest.

When orators advertise the American eagle's virtues, the American eagle is not listening.

This is his virtue.

He is somewhere else, he is mountains away but even if he were near he would never make an audience.

The American eagle never says he will serve if drafted, will dutifully serve etc. He is not at our service.

If we have honored him we have honored one who unequivocally honors himself by overlooking us.

He does not know the meaning of magnificent. Perhaps we do not altogether either who cannot touch him.

from Robert Francis, Collected Poems, 1936-1976, 1976
University of Massachusetts Press, Amherst, MA

Copyright 1976 by Robert Francis.
All rights reserved.
Reproduced with permission

Happy Independence Day! Thank you for all that serve our country, on the front lines, and behind the scenes. Thank you to the families of those that have sons and daughters, husbands and wives,  that risk their lives for our Freedom.

Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes. Sphere: Related Content

Flight

As I dance by the waters, the world is filled with light.

Mystical, mesmerizing the butterflies take to flight.

They ride the wind in a whisper, illuminated and incandescent,

In the sweetest dream, we frolic in laughter and light.


Dreams do come true on a butterfly's night.


Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes. Sphere: Related Content

You Never Know

You never know when someone
May catch a dream from you
You never know when a little word,
Or something you may do
May open up a window
Of the mind that seeks the light
The way you live may not matter at all...

But you never know - it might.

And just in case it could be
That another life through you.
Might possibly change for the better
With a broader brighter view.
It seems it might be worth a try
At pointing the way to the right.


Of course, it may not matter at all,

But then again it might.




Sharing light with Kimmy. Author Unknown. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes. Sphere: Related Content

Recognizing Self Sabotage

How did I know?

After having successes and failures with helping people make shifts in their lives, I began to see the patterns between people who changed more readily versus those who didn’t.

Those who change more easily have inner congruence; they have their inner selves aligned in ways that help them make the shift. Those that don’t have inner congruence find it difficult; no matter how much they think they want to change, a part of them doesn’t. They sabotage themselves by taking one step forward and two steps back.

What Are The Signs of Self-Sabotage?

How do you know when someone’s spending too much energy fighting themselves?

1) When they love their problems too much.

When you hear someone talk endlessly about their problems, especially in dramatic and sometimes even boastful ways; watch out! They may say they want to change, but they’re still enjoying the secondary gain they get from having this problem; it could be anything from having an excuse to get off the hook to getting attention.

2) When they argue exactly why suggestions to change won’t work.

Instead of wanting to listen and test new solutions out, they shoot down any suggestions with reasons why they might work for others but not for them. They only say they want to change when they’re obviously fighting it, that’s because they really want things to remain the same.

3) When they focus too much on negative causes and effects than positive intentions and outcomes.

Instead of having their eyes forward to create what they want in the future, they want to go further and further back into the past and dig out root causes of all their problems. The more obsessed this person is with finding out exactly why they’re messed up, the less energy they have to discover just how much better they can be.


How To Turn Self-Sabotage Into Self-Empowerment

If you’ve been self-sabotaging yourself or know someone who is, here is how you can turn self-sabotage into self-encouragement.

1) Fall in love with your strengths.

Everyone has strengths, whether you see it or not. You could stare at a 50kg dumb-bell all day long moaning about how you couldn’t possibly carry it, even explore with a sympathetic person the past origins of why you couldn’t. Or you could start exercising your present strength with a 5kg dumb-bell, knowing that if you keep focusing on working out, one day you’ll be pushing 50 and beyond.

2) Be willing to test out new solutions..

If you want to change, be willing to do new things you’ve never done before…that’s what change means, doesn’t it?

3) Focus on what you want to happen in the future.

We live in the present and can only go into the future. Milton Erickson once said, ‘insight into the past may be somewhat educational. But insight into the past isn’t going to change the past’. Decide to focus more on solutions versus problems. Look forward and answer the question, ‘if you could have the future anyway you wanted it, how would you want it to be?’


Here’s The Guiding Key To Shifting Self-Sabotage

After reading this article, you might recognize someone you know, or times in the past you’ve had moments of self-sabotage. Realize that even those times are now over, and you are bigger than thoughts and reactions you might once have had.

To key is, in the words of Robert Dilts, to shift people from learned hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness to have hope for the future, a sense of capability and responsibility, and a sense of self-worth and belonging.



Sharing light with Alvin Soon; visit his blog at http://lifecoachesblog.com . Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes.  

Whenever we attain a higher vision, the lower vision disappears of itself. Sphere: Related Content