Monday, June 18, 2012

Being honest with yourself

One of the biggest issues so many of us, including myself is being honest with our lives, circumstances, and events.. especially events that potentially embarrass us.

My daughter Alyssa has been such a joy and source of pride for Rick and I.  It is not without hard work from her, and us! We kick her behind, and stay on top of her weaknesses, and watch her succeed in everything she does.

The stress part, is when she strays from her path, to do whatever it is that she wants to do, not good for her.

Rick and I suck up the grief, and bring her back on the path.  Parenting never ends.

However when do you, as a parent, allow them the right to fail?  I mean, if she wants to throw away her job, her money, her truck, her family all to act like she's a college student on summer break, why should we stand in her way of her happiness? Isn't it her right to throw it all away?

Now that she is 21, we are getting tired of chasing some of her bad decisions.  She has to figure out what she wants in her life.  We all know, the years between 21 and 31 FLY by.  And 30 - 40 was a wink for me. I hope she figures it out soon. Teaching degree, IT career, thrown down the drain.

She has to be honest with herself, even when no one is looking. Does she want to teach, or not? Writing? Reviewing?  Does she want to make her own money, or not? Married? Kids? Soccer mom?

All Rick and I wanted to do was give her the opportunity to save money, work, go to school. But that's what WE want. What does she want?

Or do you bring her back... ??

Suggestions welcome.

Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes.

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  1. Just my opinion. Around age 18, I think we need to begin to let go. Allow them to fail and make mistakes ... and ultimately learn to recover ... to pick themselves up and to learn to take responsibility.

  2. I envy the opportunities children have especially if they are doing good in life. Doing things that lead to wasting these opportunities away is just an act of irresponsibility. No parent wants his/her child to be in a miserable situation in life (except those parents who are irresponsible from the very beginning). Though my parents did not have the capacity to give us comfortable life, we value their advice because we know it's for our own good and future. And to value and appreciate what we have.

    I agree. Parenting never ends.


  3. I wish I had all of the answers. Adult children are tougher than teenagers because they know it all. As far as teaching, when my daughter was looking for a major, someone suggested teaching. I said, "Don't you dare!" My teaching job with its twelve hour days is going to be the death of me. Plus, we get no respect and minimal pay. None of us teachers are happy anymore.

    On another issue, I'm having a lot of problems with your site. It loads incredibly slow. I'm not sure what the problem is, but you might want to look into it because some people may not be willing to take the time to wait for it to load up. Every time I visit you, I open other tabs and visit 3-4 blogs while waiting for yours to load.

  4. There are some kids who grow up too fast because they lose a loved one, or they get pregnant. She's still young, I know 21 doesn't seem young, but she'll get her act together. Especially if you raised her as you said she did. It's a confusing time when you are expected to be able to figure out everything all at once just because the world says you are a legal adult. Have faith. I'm 31 years old now and when I look back on the difference between me now and me then, WOW.

  5. I can totally relate to this...I have a 21 year old son. When he was much younger I would tell my friends and family that I don't believe in letting my children fall and allowing them to commit the same mistakes I did. I believed that I as a parent had the obligation to catch them before they fall, why should I sit and watch them commit the same stupid mistakes I did? for heavens sake...I've been there, done that so that at the very least I should be able to share my life experiences with them. I told my son the first time he failed a college semester which cost a lot of money...I said, "money, I can always earn and replace, but you know what you're losing forever? will never be 18 can never go back and undo all the things you wish you didn't do. SO yes, have faith, don't give up, open your lines of communication and don't stop being a parent.

    BTW, my son will finally be graduating on October :))