Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Musings of Late May

Being a self proclaimed empath, I can relate to negative feelings, anger, despair, frustration, and drama are examples of energy shifts that will be forced on to others around you whether you like it or not.

As your focus shifts, the energy around you is different. Same with others around you. "Feeling" the energy around you isn't a gift just for empathics. It is there for everyone, if you choose to be aware to the surroundings and feelings of others. In a way.. ignorance is bliss at times. Just pretend not to notice. Sad part of enlightenment, once the blinders are taken off, you can't put them back on. No matter how hard you try.

I would be interested to know how many addicts in this world use chemicals just to become numb to their own, or others energy.

I have over a year and a half sober. I feel like Trinity talking to Neo in the Matrix. "Because you have been down there Neo, you know that road, you know exactly where it ends. And I know that's not where you want to be. ..."

What is the answer? I removed myself from life. I know I am not the first person to do it. Sure I work. Sure I work with many people daily. I have to talk on the phone. Meet clients, potential candidates. Interact. I have a work "shield" to protect me.. but it doesn't always help. People are still human beings, and I can't control all of my surroundings.

What can you do?

I found myself to not just distance myself, but to let go of the negative vibes when they come about. Do dishes! Watch a favorite show. Listen to music that makes you feel good. Those energies will balance and dissipate the rest. Or feed into the negative and prepare for negative.

I saw it happen last night. Which is why I am blogging this. I took a situation, focused on the positive, and now await the positive result. I am expecting the good energies back, since that is what I put out.

I'll let you know..lol

Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Monday Quote

We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy.

The amount of work is the same. - Carlos Castaneda

Sharing light with Kimmy.

Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Participation vs Give and Take vs TAKE

Had a great conversation about relationships today.

Whether we are taking about friendships, work, colleagues, there is a growing concern about "Participation".

When two people participate in the relationship looking forward, and moving in the same direction, life flows. Friendship blooms. Work is consistent, and successful.

Then what happens? Life? Stress?

When participation ends, the relationship moves to "Give and take" Where one side gets mad when they feel they are doing most of the giving, and the other person TAKING!  (*side note, in this instance each person feels they are the "giver"...

Eventually, with that attitude, one of the parties will move into the "entitled" attitude, while the other one TAKES. No more give, with too many hard feelings, relationships ends in divorce, lost of job, lost of friendship.

I think about the friendships that have ended in my life.

One person only wanted me to be there for her for 20 years. ME ME ME. She was condescending, judging, and morally absent unless it was about her. Another relationship ended after every conversation was about her, proving her right, patting her back. You would have swore she thought she was Mary Poppins reincarnated. Practically Perfect in every way. It took a long time to remove myself. I will admit, it wasn't without a fight.. I am a gemini... I can't flight, without a fight.. lol. My true colors shone through, and guess what it wasn't pretty. My bad. You live you learn. Cut your losses.

Now I have seen the quotes that true friends stick when the going gets tough. The problem is LIFE IS TOUGH for everyone. One sided true friends, AREN'T true friends. They are takers. Period.

I don't have the answers. I focus on my inner circle, and family.

If you are questioning any relationship, where does it fall? True mutual participation? Give and Take? Or one sided take?

Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

I'd Rather be Raptured

I mean, I would rather be sleeping.

It was a long week. Busy as we all are, my hubby told me earlier in the week that we had dinner plans with family on Saturday night. I was so looking forward to sleeping, and not getting dressed on Saturday.

I often wonder why his plans are never on a Sunday, during his Xbox all day gaming sessions.

It's not that big of a deal to go for dinner, love the family, I am just tired. Hubby uses "tired" all the time when he wants to get out of some obligation...but I seem to have to much guilt to try that "out"..


It's a perfect day outside for sleeping. Grey, raining, and quiet..

Perhaps I can get a small nap in while he is showering..

Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes.

Monday, May 2, 2011

From the mind of Alyssa


Everyone has their different demons that they have to face. Mine always seem to come back to haunt me at the worse points in time. I managed to fail my entire first semester of college back in 09, and managed to almost get myself killed, but in the process, I got a new set of eyes that have brought me back to being who I am.

I lost sight of my goals and everything that I stood for my first year of college. That was my first taste of real freedom that I never really had, and I abused it more than I should have. I was skipping classes, doing things that I should not have been doing and I paid the price and took the consequences of losing everything that I have and having to start all over again.

The turnaround started last year when I started working for an IT Help Desk Corporation at their service desk over the summer, filling in for people as they took vacation. I had done this the past summer but I really wasn’t expecting it this time. I took the job and I did it well. Right around August 2010, someone on the team quit and they offered me the position and I took it without a second thought. After I started working full time for them, I signed up for classes and paid for them myself and finished out my first semester with straight B’s. I had completely turned myself around 180 degrees. I have learned that nothing that I do is free and that I have to work as hard as I humanly can to get anywhere in my life.

At the same time that all of this was going on, my best friend decided to take a different turn from me. She took the freedom that she had gained by dating someone who was 25 and moved across the country to be with him, away from rules and parents and away from what I thought were her dreams. She managed to get herself into school in January and by March she was already out of money and wasn’t able to pay for her next semester, but she was able to pay for a trip to Illinois (with her fiancĂ©e), 2 cats, a dog, an apartment, more than one car since she has been out there, and a trip to Vegas right around the same time. Money seems to burn a hole in their pockets and it is clear.

This morning, I woke up to a post on my facebook saying that she had just bought Tim McGraw tickets for June 17th. I am sorry… but there is more to life than trips to Vegas and seeing Tim McGraw live in concert. Instead of paying for that, she could have taken the money that they are spending on these trips and put it towards tuition, or something along those lines.

She had watched me screw up every aspect of my life and was right there by my side to help me out, but when I try to help out or offer any advice, I am the asshole because it isn’t my life.

Now that this school year is coming to a close, and I think back to all the crazy things that I did before and kind of laugh at myself a bit… I really was out of my mind. Everything that I am doing now is pretty much where I want to be. I am working full time during the week, have classes almost every night, I manage to keep up with writing reviews for a website, I am saving up for a new car, and I even attempt to keep ahold of a social life (not very well though).

We all need to learn to pick our battles better, and we will go farther in everything that we do.

I will never claim to be better than anyone, but I will say that I fight harder than most for what I want.

Posted by Lyssa at 10:18 AM

Sharing light with Kimmy. Guest post from my daughter Alyssa. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes.