Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Participation vs Give and Take vs TAKE

Had a great conversation about relationships today.

Whether we are taking about friendships, work, colleagues, there is a growing concern about "Participation".

When two people participate in the relationship looking forward, and moving in the same direction, life flows. Friendship blooms. Work is consistent, and successful.

Then what happens? Life? Stress?

When participation ends, the relationship moves to "Give and take" Where one side gets mad when they feel they are doing most of the giving, and the other person TAKING!  (*side note, in this instance each person feels they are the "giver"...

Eventually, with that attitude, one of the parties will move into the "entitled" attitude, while the other one TAKES. No more give, with too many hard feelings, relationships ends in divorce, lost of job, lost of friendship.

I think about the friendships that have ended in my life.

One person only wanted me to be there for her for 20 years. ME ME ME. She was condescending, judging, and morally absent unless it was about her. Another relationship ended after every conversation was about her, proving her right, patting her back. You would have swore she thought she was Mary Poppins reincarnated. Practically Perfect in every way. It took a long time to remove myself. I will admit, it wasn't without a fight.. I am a gemini... I can't flight, without a fight.. lol. My true colors shone through, and guess what it wasn't pretty. My bad. You live you learn. Cut your losses.

Now I have seen the quotes that true friends stick when the going gets tough. The problem is LIFE IS TOUGH for everyone. One sided true friends, AREN'T true friends. They are takers. Period.

I don't have the answers. I focus on my inner circle, and family.

If you are questioning any relationship, where does it fall? True mutual participation? Give and Take? Or one sided take?

Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes.

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