Friday, March 26, 2010

Momentary Laspe of Blogging

Kimmy Sharing Light has always been about accountability and ownership. Although, I do come off as cocky and on a high horse, I also struggle with day to day life. I started this website not just to share light with others, but primarily to keep myself on path.

Even when it's hard to admit I have made a mistake, it is easier to retrace steps to see the events in a time line, and when I could have made better choices. Sure it's cool to journal. I have also spoke my fears and mistakes to many others and I have gotten the same response. TIME to nurture healing rather than beat it verbally with a moral lesson.

My daughter has gone through some hard times since she started college in the fall.  Although, of course, I expected more from her. She was too afraid to let me know that she had blown off some of her responsibilities. Instead of holding her head down low. She wanted to escape from life, and start over.

We as parents can place blame on circumstances, genes, surroundings. But that negates responsibility, choice, and freewill. Or we can tackle the issues, make mistakes, but learn together.

The past two weeks has been so chaotic in my house. It's only the three of us, and I Alyssa feels we gang up on her because mom and dad are always on the same page.  We did in in house intervention, friends, family, and strangers. She has some choices to make in life, but they are her choices and failures to make. Mom can't protect her forever! 

Now when it comes to safety, we will do what it takes to keep her safe. If we have to cut up her ids, to make sure she doesn't fall for a online scam.  We will.

You can always replace IDs. You can't replace a child.

It is my responsibility to prepare her for life whether she is 12 or 21.  Don't listen to the "I'm 18" BS. I still stop at my parents house today. To give, to receive.

Never ever give up.

Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Kimmy,
    I know what you are going through, these are the toughest years between being a teenager and becoming an adult. I went through a lot of shit with Christa at this age. She had severe anxiety and always thought she was going to die. Then she was in a relationship with this boy where she was insecure and constantly had to be up his ass. When it ended that was even more hell to deal with. She had no self esteem, did not know her own worth and beauty. Thanks to my son in law that all changed. Just keep writing and venting it will help you. We also wanted to send her to college, she did for a short time and gave up on that. I finally had to accept that she wanted to chose her own path in life and that did not include college. Some day she plans on getting a certificate to be a person who takes blood, can't remember how to spell that lOL! So hang in there, you will get through it, even though it seeems like now it will never end.
    Love you Kim :)
    Love and Light

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  2. It looks like you've had a lot to deal with lately - but it seems to me that you are handling it in a positive way. Hope Alyssa finds her way in all the mess life sometimes offer ..

    Lots of love to you all!!

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:-)