Do you respect your partner? I find that one or both partners believe themselves to be truly better than their partner.
Not just better at certain tasks or skills; but better as a whole person.
This is what leads to the idea that if only one's partner could be "fixed" then the partnership would be happy and successful.
The trouble is most people aren't broken.
Life was working before we allied with our partner and will continue to work even if they are gone. We are with our partner because it enhances our life, makes us even more functional and hopefully happier. Not to say that everyone can't improve in certain skill areas.
Respecting our partner has to be built on the recognition that they are fully functional and remarkably capable people. You partner may not be as good as you are at organization, or baseball, or cooking, or gardening or whatever. But, guess what? You aren't as good as they are at many things. Which of you is better? The only answer in a successful partnership is neither!
Partnership can never be about whom is better. Partnership is about recognizing each party's strengths and about recognizing our own weaknesses. Notice that in the weakness area your task is to recognize your own weaknesses without a primary focus on your partner's. That is their job. As you each recognize your weak areas this can be a point of discussion and understanding (perhaps a place for active listening) so you know how and when to cover for each other.
When you can begin to recognize and accept your weaker areas then you've started the process of accepting help. You can hardly ask for assistance if you don't know where you need it.
Help without permission is a violation of your partner. Permission can only be granted if your partner has the option to refuse the help. On occasion a partner may want to struggle a little longer or get their ideas or skills more organized before they are ready for further input. Mutual respect includes the ability to wait.
The journey for partners is to advance the team through mutual growth, success and respect.
Sharing light with Kimmy. Striving to create a path between the present course of events and a new course; leading to new outcomes.
Article excerpts taken from; The Answer is Mutual Respect by David W. Edgerly, Ph.D. Copyright 1998; All rights reserved.
Photo by Rosie Hardy - Another Step on the Ladder