Saturday, July 5, 2008
When your friends deny to need for change
When I first started helping others, I felt things about people that I assumed they wanted to know about, but that wasn't always the case. People would get upset and tell me that they hadn't wanted me to go there. Health problems, marital infidelity, financial concerns - you may consider the information important for their growth, but you have no way of knowing for sure. They tell you they want to change the rut they are in, but have no intention to change real issues to make a difference in their life. Deny Deny Deny. I guess it is easier than change.
There is literally no way to pacify an angry person's anger when confronted on mistakes they made. Even on their best day they still find something to get upset about. In attempting to try to make them see the brighter side of life, they come in like a black cloud and suck the brightness out of the moment! Angry people will even spoil YOUR day with their nasty attitudes!
Your best approach at this point is not to remove yourself from the line of fire and disengage. (I know I just blogged about it a couple of days ago, but it's still weighing on my mind.) Uncomfortable as it may be, you can't discourage people from expressing their feelings, but you can help them fine-tune their communication skills so that they learn more appropriate ways of expressing them.