Friday, June 13, 2008

Are you humble? Is this you..or not?

(taken from wiki-how)

How to be Humble

Being humble doesn't mean you can't feel good about yourself. Self-esteem is not the same as pride. Both come from a recognition of your own talents and qualities, but pride--the kind of pride that leans toward arrogance--is rooted in insecurity about them.

Understand your limitations. No matter how talented you are, there is almost always somebody who can do something better than you can. Even if you are the best in the world at doing one thing, there are other things--important, worthwhile things--that you cannot do, and you may never be able to do some of these things. Add to this the fact that there are a great many things that no person can do, and you can get some idea of your limitations. Recognizing your limitations does not mean abandoning your dreams, and it doesn't mean giving up on learning new things or improving your existing abilities. It does mean coming to terms with the very real limits of your abilities.

Recognize your own faults. We judge others because it's a lot easier than looking at our own faults. Unfortunately, it's also completely unproductive and, in many cases, harmful. Judging others causes strife in relationships, and it prevents new relationships from forming. Perhaps even worse, it prevents us from trying to improve ourselves. We make judgments about others all the time, and we often don't even realize it. As a practical exercise, try to catch yourself in the act of judging another person or group of people, and whenever you do, judge yourself instead and consider how you could improve yourself.

Stop comparing. Why? Because, it's just about impossible to be humble when we're striving to be the "best" or trying to be "better" than others. Instead, try describing things more objectively. Rather than saying that so and so is the best guitarist ever, say what exactly it is that you appreciate about his skills, or simply say that you like his playing style. Let go of meaningless, simplistic comparisons, and you'll be able to enjoy doing things without worrying about whether you're better or worse at them than others.

Don't be afraid to defer to others' judgment. It's easy to acknowledge that you make mistakes and that you're not always right. Somewhat more difficult however, is the ability to acknowledge that in many cases other people--even people who disagree with you--may be right. Deferring to your spouse's wishes, to a law you don't agree with, or even, sometimes, to your child's opinion takes your recognition of your limitations to a different level. Instead of simply saying that you know that you're fallible, you take action based on that fact. Of course, if you know that a particular course of action is wrong, you shouldn't follow it. On closer inspection, though, you may realize that you don't actually know this as often as you think you do.

Treat other people as equals and help them because it is the right thing to do. It's been said that when you can help others who cannot possibly help you in return, you have learned humility.

Keep in mind that being humble has many benefits. Humility can help you be more content with your life, and it can also help you endure bad times and improve your relationships with others.

Warning Pretending to be humble isn't the same as being humble, and often people who pretend to be humble do it in order to seek out praise. Other people will recognize this, and even if you fool some, you won't derive the same benefits as you would through actually developing humility.

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