Wednesday, April 30, 2008

It's not that hard...Keep it simple!

When we are simple we are able to be free ourselves in adverse situations. With simplicity we know that we need to remember the past only to the extent that we have to learn from it.

When something goes wrong and we find ourselves thinking about it again and again, we need to remind ourselves that all the past experiences are only for us to learn from. The past is finished and we don't have to undergo the sorrow again thinking about the past repeatedly.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Accountability and teenagers

It was suggested that I make my blogs a little more geared toward my life. So I would like to blog this evening about accountability.

Accountability is a concept in ethics with several meanings. It is often used synonymously with such concepts as answerability, enforcement, responsibility, blameworthiness, liability and other terms associated with the expectation of account-giving.

In teen roles, accountability is the acknowledgment and assumption of responsibility for actions, decisions, and policies including the implementation within the scope of the student's role and encompassing the obligation to report, explain and be answerable for resulting consequences.

Three weeks ago, my daughter's third quarter Honors Spanish III grade was a B. Pretty honorable. However, I noticed that even though she was pulling a B, I saw her trend starting. She would have had an A, except for her couple of F's for quizzes, test, and a paper.

I gave her full and fair warning that by mid term, May 1st, 2008, I would recheck the grades. I set the expectation, and consequence. I asked for understanding. She acknowledged the standards I have set.

Today, I asked her to pull the grades, and write them down. I told her, to be 100% honest. I came home, nothing under a C+. But, she is a teenager, with trends. Humans don't overcome trends. SO I pulled up the grades. Guess what? She went from a B to an F in 28 days, and then lied to me about it.

Being accountable doesn't stop there. I now own another cell phone, a PSP, an awesome IPOD, a PC, and her bedroom except for sleeping.

Being a parent is not just lip service. It's continuous action and reaction. She is a teen, and you know, not a bad kid. But life will jump up on her before she knows it. Lying, slacking off on responsibilities just doesn't fly with me.

I don't claim divinity as a parent. We set the standards together, and she chose to test me. How can I expect her to pass a test if I fail hers?

In closing this blog is not just about holding her accountable, but about her holding me accountable as well as a parent. Kids want us to watch them, to push them to raise the bar. I could have been happy with her honors classes. But I push her hard to go above and beyond. Why? LIFE PUSHES HARD!!!!!!!!!!!!! Parents all over fail miserably when it comes to their own accountability. Why did I get this far to fail her?


Holding firm to a position is admirable, until it becomes clear that the position is wrong. Those who can admit that they were wrong are able to move forward. Those who stubbornly claim they are right, in the face of clear evidence to the contrary, become stuck in the quagmire of their own pride. To achieve excellence you must be willing and able to admit your mistakes and to change your opinions.

Mistakes are damaging enough on their own. There's no need to compound the damage by holding on to them. The best thing you can do with a mistake is to admit it and learn from it. The worst thing you can do is defend it and continue it.

Mistakes can be great teachers. Mistakes are inevitable. When you attempt to achieve anything ambitious, you are certain to make some wrong turns. Yet even those wrong turns can move you forward if you have the courage and humility to admit you made them and then turn back from them.

Whenever you're making progress, you're also making some mistakes. Spot them, admit them, learn from them, make a course correction and then move yourself ahead faster than ever before.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee

Some people are so touchy.

Taken from

Some people who commit suicide are inconsiderable, selfish people. Others have mental issues. Our society excuses the ones who have mental issues--and rightfully so. They do not inflict their own pain. They inflict pain on their innocent family and friends they leave behind--the ones that are capable of caring and loving unselfishly. Nobody deserves that much pain.

I apologize to some of my readers I offend by making the statement about suicidal people being inconsiderate, and selfish. I can't help but believe my own statements. After all, this is only my opinion. I realize people who are mentally challenged find suicide the only way out of their problems. I do understand and agree with that. It is not my intention to hurt anybody with this article. Some suicides, I agree, have unknown merits we as a society fail to understand. To be that desperate to commit suicide is sometimes hard to understand.

We might have all said this at one time or another, I am going to kill myself," or I might as well be dead, no one will care . We might have all thought it from one time or another. I admit that I have said it and contemplated it.No matter how awful, cruel and fearful the world seems at times, it should never constitute a reason to eliminate yourself. For some, this is cowardly. It does not take courage to kill yourself--only selfish determination. Their survivors were not allowed any alternatives or considerations--only guilt, grief and pain.

If there is a message I could relay to the young and old contemplating suicide, I would advise them not to be ashamed to seek professional help. I also would recommend them to assess their desperate decision and think their actions out. I would make them aware of how their decision to end their life would deeply affect their family and friends. I would ask them why they would want to inflict such pain and sorrow on their loved ones. Most of all, I would inform them that all things must pass and that what seems unbearable to them now will seem so insignificant if you give it time.

The act of committing suicide is not recommended and approved by God. There will be no guarantee that your spirit and soul will reach heaven. Suicide is final.
It is the easy road for some, but it means tears and pain for others.

Let it go..really

Let go the goal of unnecessary riches at others' expense. Give up the goal of wealth. You probably have as much money as you need. Much more may bring more trouble, not less.

Let go the goal of total self-sufficiency. You will never achieve it, and you will destroy your relationships with others while trying.

Give up the goal of independence. The world does not work that way. The sublime is relational and interdependent; and anyway, your friends want to help you.

Give up the goal of true love. Love, if it is romantic, is never, strictly speaking, true. And if it is not romantic, it is not true love.

Let go the goal of happiness. That sweet bird lights only when least expected.

Let go the goal of fame. Its concave mirror distorts as it amplifies.

Treat these goals and others like them as powerful medicines, useful as prescribed, but dangerous if misused. Keep out of the reach of children.

- The final words of Living Without A Goal, by James Ogilvy, A Currency Book, 1995.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

The power of silence can bring peace to any situation.

The instruments for the power of silence are pure thoughts and pure feelings. We can give others an experience with the power of our silence. When we understand and experience the power of silence we will become more powerful. We will then be able to experience peace thatwill naturally spread to others too.

When I have to correct someone in any situation I first need to remind myself that words will not work but silence based on pure feelings and love will surely work. When I accept the person as he is with love Iwill be able to bring about a change in him. The lesser I talk the more the peace that is created.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Habits are transformed when there is introversion, you know, look at yourself.

Introversion gives us the power to look within and find the source of the habit that we want to change. Instead of working at a superficial level, we will then be able to recognize and change it from deep within. When such deep transformation takes place, we find that it never emerges again.

When we want a habit to be changed, we need to ask ourselves why the habit is still continuing in spite of our wish to get rid of it. Along with the recognition of the root cause of the habit, we need to emerge the positive nature that is within us. This gives us the confidence and we find our habits transformed.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

How to Keep Our Ego and Desires in Check


Keep your ego-style statements in check: Most ego-centric statement are use to cover up so that people don’t look foolish or superficial about what they desire. Just make sure that the desire you want is something that your ego can handle with class. Most people try and keep their desires secretly to help prevent being portrayed as ego-centric.


Don't let desires and ego cause suffering: This is a direct experience of the Dhamma, of the Four Noble Truths: Life means suffering, the origin of suffering is attachment, the cessation of suffering is attainable, and the path of cessation of suffering. We tend to lock ourselves into a condition of suffering by wanting things to be different from what they are. This is true most people become attached to their material things and collect them. Some people even have a hard time giving old things away to charities. This takes practice. Look through all those old things piled up in your basement and attics and think how these items will make another person that has less with feel when they receive that item. Spread joy not suffering that is a good thing.


Don' let Your past affect your future: In the past you might have came from a family that had little material things, so you cling to your things. This will cause most people to worry constantly about losing everything. You need to add meditation into your life so that you can calm your mind and your soul. It will help eliminate the suffering. Just remember to give from your heart will always make you feel better. It is a healing of the soul.


Practice mindfulness: This could be also called vipassana meditation, it is essentially a practice of keeping the attention in the present moment. It is alright to have past memories, but don’t let then rule your present. Live the present as today and enjoy what life gives you. Try to let go of resistance to be irate with worries about suffering or those desires that you haven’t reached, yet. Yet, is right if you focus and take small steps those desire will stay in check and you will get that desire in a peaceful manner. B.Galvan

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

When we change, our world changes.

We usually wait for the world to change, sometimes the world at large and sometimes our own little world. Since it is not in our hands we don't find it changing according to what we want and we give up trying. We rarely think of changing ourselves, which is possible.

When we change, our thoughts and attitudes change too. We are then able to look at the people and our world around us with a different vision. Thus, we find that our world changes, not so much in the situation as much as in our own perception.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

How to Change Your Attitude (Part 3 & 4)

Admit your faults: This is the hardest thing that people come faced with that can shake their pride. Don’t let that happen. Everyone has faults.

Love each other: Love someone for who they are. Faults can be changed and turned into important life lessons. Learn to accept others fault. If they want to change it they will if not, just accept them for who they are.

Monday, April 21, 2008

How to Change Your Attitude (Part Two)

Recognize and require pride in your life:

You need to know what is great in your life and in others. You need to have pride in your spirit, yourself, your home, work, family, and in life. You need to require that the people you surround yourself with have pride. Pride dosen’t mean arrogance. Pride means a lot of things. Pride is a feeling of pleasure or satisfaction in one’s actions or qualities. Pride is a proper sense of what is filling for one’s position or character, self-respect. Pride is an unduly high opinion of one’s qualities or merits. Pride might mean something different to other people. You need to express your pride through action first, then through talk, and last as your lifestyle.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

How to Change Your Attitude (part one)

Cherish others as we cherish ourselves:

Most people spend so much time trying to change the outside of them. Change their hair, their body, their clothes, but most put their inside last. Most people have a trouble accepting their own faults and shortcomings. You need to learn how to accept your own shortcomings and to accept others shortcoming. People need to take people as they are, not and try to change them. We are all looking for acceptance to turn into unconditional love. Take the time in your day and let someone know that you cherish them. You can simply let them know how great they are in your life.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

The one who sacrifices name and fame is the one who gets recognition.

When we make a positive contribution we usually want to get recognition for it. We may not always say it in words but there is always an expectation that others should recognize our contribution.

We need to make sure that we enjoy whatever we do. Since the task itself becomes enjoyable for us, we don't anymore expect recognition. The more we become free from expectations the more we get love from others and recognition too.

The one who sacrifices name and fame is the one who gets recognition.

Free from worry

Stop worrying about being perfect. Just be sincere, honest and authentic.

Stop worrying about what might or might not happen at some future time. Put your energy and attention into connecting with the richness of right now.

Allow your thoughts to support and encourage you rather than hinder you. Free yourself to deal effectively and successfully with what is real and what is now.

Get in the habit of choosing and following your best possibilities instead of worrying about the worst ones.

Worry brings you nothing worth having, so choose right now to free yourself from its grip.
Focus on what you can do and why.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Letting Go

To ``let go'' does not mean to stop caring.
It means I can't do it for someone else.

To ``let go'' is not to cut myself off.
It's the realization I can't control another.

To ``let go'' is not to enable,
but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To ``let go'' is to admit powerlessness
which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To ``let go'' is not to try to change or blame another.
It's to make the most of myself.

To ``let go'' is not to care for, but to care about.

To ``let go'' is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To ``let go'' is not to judge,
but to allow another to be a human being.

To ``let go'' is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To ``let go'' is not to be protective.

To ``let go'' is not to deny, but to accept.

To ``let go'' is not to nag, scold, or argue,
but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

The Journey is the reward

Give two children a room full of toys and they'll soon be fighting over them. Give them a room full of nothing, and they'll soon be cooperating and inventing games to play together.

The high-tech startup company is an exciting place to work. They can barely make the payroll each week, and most of the employees take stock options in lieu of a higher salary. Still, everyone gives it their all, working as a team to get the company established. Then the products begin to succeed in the marketplace. A public offering brings in cash and makes everyone a millionaire. The partners start quarreling. It seems like everyone is getting a divorce. Employees update their resumes. Once the money starts to flow, everything seems to fall apart.

"Be careful what you ask for," the saying goes, "because you might just get it."

Why is it that, so often, when we get what we're after it seems so empty? Because we fail to realize that the journey is the reward. Goals and aspirations are important because of what you become in getting there. Once the goal is reached, it has little value and it's time to set a new goal. Life is a continuous growth process. If you're not growing, you're not living. Marston

Thursday, April 17, 2008

How do you count?

How do you count your blessings—and how has a grateful outlook impacted your mood and your health? Are we thanking God when we are coasting, and living the good life, or are we finding fault in what we were blessed with, always asking for more?

Even in the most difficult situation, there are plenty of reasons for sincere gratitude. Instead of cursing your problems, take a moment to count your blessings, and give your energy to the blessings rather than the problems.

Just imagine how much positive value you will add when you focus on gratitude before each interaction. Consider how much more effective your work will be when you find something to sincerely appreciate in everything you do.

The more profoundly you appreciate something in your life, the more value you give to it. In every direction you look, there is something for which you can be sincerely thankful.

Gratitude truly opens your eyes to the incredible abundance that is all around you.

Stop right now and think of five things in your life for which you are thankful. It should be fairly easy to come up with at least five. If you're having trouble, start with life itself, the beauty of the world around you, the opportunity to learn and grow. Consider your family, friends, people who sincerely care about you, your work, your faith, your home, your community, the joys you've known, the things you have to look forward to.

Think of five things for which you're grateful. Dwell on them for a moment and consider how richly blessed you are. Find five ways to be thankful, and you've discovered five ways to propel your life toward even greater joy and fulfillment. Because abundance begins with gratitude. The more we focus on the positive side of life, the more positive life becomes.

Whatever disappointments you may have, there is always something for which to be thankful. Appreciate the good things, and they will grow.

Trust brings help from others

Message for the Day

Trust brings help from others.

Many times we find that we are not able to get sufficient help from others. We seem to be struggling all alone. We do expect help from others and might say so in words too, but we find that we are not always able to get full cooperation from others.

We will not get help from others if we expect and demand from others. Instead we need to develop faith in others that they will help. For this we need to develop total respect for each and everyone. It is this respect that will naturally encourage the other person to help us.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Ari Squire

Although I did not know him later in life, I often think about how he faced failures. Did he blame others for his bad luck, and in the end, had to punish himself?

Lessons can be learned. Choices can be made in our own lives, then reflect change and ownership.

It's all about what we can do to change our life, not how others are supposed to bend over backwards for us.

Crash and burn response

The whole point of your body's "crash and burn" response is your mind identifying what is the root cause of the problem and attempting to fix it.

Do we have to wait until we crash and burn to change?

Do we have to hit rock bottom to stop blaming others for our choices?

Time is what we make it

Time does not cure all ills, time does not make things better. It is only through living, and striving, and struggling against the challenges, that things are made better.

Time is our workplace, and our raw material. We can fashion it in any way we choose, through focus and effort.

And time comes to us in doses of now. Now is the only time we have, to do what we must do. If we wait until the "right" time, it never comes. Things will only be "right" when we act to make them so. Now is the only time we have, and now is when we must act. We must expect the best -- of ourselves, and of others. And then we must work to make it so.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The control you exercise over your own perceptions, thoughts and actions will make all the difference in your life.

Reality is what it is, and your own relationship to that reality is precisely whatever you choose for it to be.


Monday, April 14, 2008

Energy Healing

Energy field healing is the art of correcting energetic defects in the energy field. In energy field healing, the healer seeks to restore the flow of the energy to its strong, natural and healthy state and correct any defects that are present, thereby helping to restore and maintain health to the body, emotions, mind and spirit—to all levels of the being. The healer, in doing this, treats what may be the ultimate cause of disease. By treating ill conditions in the energy field, the healer may work to assist in the resolution of a disease condition which has already manifested in the physical body, or in the mental and emotional life of the patient. The activities of the healer may also serve to prevent future disease, by treating faulty energetic conditions in the patient’s energy field which might otherwise result in illness in the future, should they remain untreated. Additionally, the activities of the healer are beneficial simply because they enhance the entire life process of the patient, even if disease is not present, enhancing functioning of body, mind and spirit and enabling the patient to live a healthier, more balanced and fulfilling life.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Living like Water

The journey of water as it flows upon the earth can be a mirror of our own paths through life. Water begins its residence on Earth as it falls from the sky or melts from ice and cascades down a mountain into a tributary or stream. In the same way, we come into the world and begin our lives on Earth. Like a river that flows within the confines of its banks, we are born with certain defining characteristics that govern our identity. We are born in a particular time and place, into a specific family, and with certain gifts and challenges. Within these parameters, we move through life, encountering many twists, turns, and obstacles along the way—just as a river flows.

Water is a great teacher that shows us how to move through the world with grace, ease, determination, and humility. When a river breaks at a waterfall, it gains energy and moves on. As we encounter our own waterfalls, we may fall hard, but we always keep going. Water can inspire us not to become rigid with fear or hold fast to what is familiar. Water is brave and does not waste time clinging to its past but flows onward without looking back. At the same time, when there is a hole to be filled, water does not flee from it, fearful of the dark; instead, it humbly and bravely fills the empty space. In the same way, we can face the dark moments of our life rather than running away from them.

Eventually, a river will empty into the sea. Water does not hold back from joining with a larger body, nor does it fear a loss of identity or control. It gracefully and humbly tumbles into the vastness by contributing its energy and merging without resistance. Each time we move beyond our individual egos to become part of something bigger, we can try our best to follow the lead of the river.

Osho's message/part three

According to Osho, meditation is not simply a practice. It is a state of awareness that can be realized in every moment. What he presented to his followers, then, was a series of techniques to implement this approach. As we will see, he incorporated the use of Western psychotherapy as a means of preparing for meditation—a way for his disciples to become aware of their mental and emotional refuse. He also introduced his own, original techniques, characterized by moments of alternating activity and silence. In all, he suggested over a hundred techniques for successful meditation.

The most famous remains his first: Dynamic Meditation. This is divided into five stages. In the first, a person engages in ten minutes of rapid breathing through the nose. The second ten minutes are dedicated to catharsis: "Let whatever is happening happen. ... Laugh, shout, scream, jump, shake--whatever you feel to do, do it!". In the third stage, the person jumps up and down shouting hoo-hoo-hoo. In the fourth stage, everything stops. As one disciple said of this stage: "I was too tired to think, too drained from the catharsis ... My body was too tired to fidget, to move; it was utterly relaxed". Finally, the exercise is completed with between ten and fifteen minutes of dancing and celebration.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Osho's message/part two

His first tactic was to identify the ways in which the ego, or mind, comes to exert its control. This occurs, he said, because the mind is first and foremost a mechanism for survival. At some unspecified point in our early development, we found it "necessary to stop being ourselves". The mind replicates behavioral strategies that, in the past, proved successful in ensuring survival.

But in appealing to the past, the mind prevents us from living authentically in the present.

Worse still, this strategy means that we continually repress what we genuinely feel on the grounds that it may topple the fragile machinations of the mind regarding what we think we ought to feel. In so doing, we automatically close ourselves off from experiencing the joy that naturally comes when we move into the present because "the mind has no inherent capacity for joy. ... It only thinks about joy" . The result, he warned, is that we unconsciously poison ourselves with various neuroses, jealousies, fears, accumulating false religious teachings instead of living in joyous, authentic awareness.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Osho's message /part one

Osho's message was ultimately a positive one. He taught that we are all Buddhas and that all have the capacity for enlightenment. Every human being, according to Osho, is capable of experiencing unconditional love and of responding rather than reacting to life. As he said: "You are truth. You are love. You are bliss. You are freedom". It is possible, he suggested, to experience innate divinity and to be conscious of "who we really are." We do not do so only because our egos prevent us from enjoying this experience: "When the ego is gone the whole individuality arises in its crystal purity". The problem is how to bypass the ego so that our innate being can flower; how to move from the periphery to the center. Osho's answer came from a variety of viewpoints.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

My lightworker card of the day

Alice in Wonderland

When this card appears in your reading, see your life from a higher perspective. Explore the realm of dreams and keep a notebook of your out-of-body journeys. Good fortune may be just around the corner. Anticipate a turning of the wheel of fortune in your favor. Be the eternal optimist. Know that the power of prosperity consciousness is your ace in the hole. Take advantage of golden opportunities coming your way. Good luck is on your side. Let it ride!


Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Within your control

Sometimes things are out of your control, but the trick is to figure out which "stuck" situations are within your control to change. Sometimes that change is a physical one, stepping up to take action. Sometimes that change is a mental one, stepping back to see the situation from a wider perspective.

Some people were frustrated at their inability to get where they were going. Others (though probably not the ones who had a roof ripped off by the tornado!) treated the day as a gift. They couldn't follow through on their plans, so they worked around it and made new ones.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

It will come back to you.

You have no way of knowing how or when all the things you do will come back to you. What you can know is that they will.

Some obscure and seemingly useless fact you learn today could end up playing a major role in your life next week, or five years from now. Some small favor that you do tomorrow may come back to you in a few months as a grand opportunity.

Your words do not end when you speak them, and your actions do not stop when you've completed them. They go out into life and begin connecting you with the people, circumstances and things that resonate with those words and actions of yours.

Live as though the things you do, in one way or another, will come back to you. For you can be certain that they will. Namaste.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Sharpen your power of perception

When there is simplicity within, the clouds or layers that prevent our
perception begin to fade away and we can see the situation clearly.

Before you take any important decision please pause, detach
yourself from the situation and view it with a cool mind.

With this your thoughts will become free from all kind of memories and unnecessary attitudes and you will be able to make the right decision.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

The 7 Stages of Emotional Clearing

How to clear the negative emotions in our bodies is a process that most of us have never been taught to do. Society does not give much credence to this work. Consequently, when we do try to clear, because we do not know the stages that humans go through in order to release painful emotions, we get stuck. For many, this leads to feelings of frustration and so they just give up. But when we give up, we do so at a price. When conflicts remain unresolved, their associated emotions remain, creating energetic imbalances in the body on the physical level that lead to illness. On the mental level, they can create bi-polar disorders and, in some cases, depression. On the emotional level, they lead us to either act out in destructive ways such as raging, or in covert ways, using passive/aggressive behavior. All of these things are destructive to our personal relationship with our Inner Children, not to mention our relationships with others.

The 7 Stages of Emotional Clearing are given as a roadmap to help you navigate the stages of clearing that each person experiences in order to fully and completely clear negative pain associated with a conflict or other negative event from the body.

The 7 Stages

1. Trigger
2. Identify Trigger through anger
3. Projection and blaming
4. Express and release anger and pain
5. Look for and find the mirror
6. Own the mirror
7. Clear the mirror

1. Trigger

A trigger occurs when someone violates a personal boundary or agreement.

2. Identifying the trigger through anger

Once triggered, you react with anger or, if not anger, at least a sense that something is not right.

Note: Many people get stuck here because they have learned to immediately stuff their anger when it occurs. An example would be saying to yourself, “Oh, it’s just not worth getting upset over.”

3. Projection and Blaming

If you are angry, the next thing you do is blame someone for it. We call this “projecting” because you are putting the blame for your pain on someone else.

Note: Many people project and blame but they don’t go past this point and express it to the person with whom they are upset.

4. Express and release anger and pain

This is the step in which you vent your anger toward the accused. Expressing can take various forms depending on the intensity of the violation and trigger. Mild violations may require just speaking up about it. Stronger violations may require speaking up and a few choice cuss words to clear the pain and so on.

Note: Most people will stop short of this step because they believe they don’t feel comfortable and/or they don’t have the right to express their anger. In that case, passive/aggressive behavior will ensue because anger must have a release.

5. Look for and find the mirror

Once the anger has been expressed, logic can return. Now and
only now can you begin to look for how you have co-created the situation. Beginning with Steps 1—3 of the Formula of Compassion, you look for the lesson, contract and role that the other person is playing.

Tip: If you are not able to talk with your guides to get the information you need to find the mirror, try starting with Step 4 of the Formula. Ask yourself, “What fear is the other person expressing through their behavior?” Once you figure out what the fear is, you then ask, “What belief is triggering that fear?” By doing this, you are tracing your way back to the belief that is at the root of the behavior. Keep this rule in mind: Beliefs create fears which we then act out through our behavior.

6. Own the mirror

Step 4 of the Formula of Compassion is where you recognize the aspect of you that the other person is reflecting or mirroring back to you. It is always a behavior motivated by fear. At that same moment of recognition, you will also be able to acknowledge that you have done the same thing that you have been judging that person for doing. If you truly see this, the anger and pain will quickly turn to empathy and sadness because you understand, first-hand, the fear that drives you both to that behavior.

Note: You may have already completed this step if you used the tip provided in Stage 5.

7. Clear the mirror

Steps 5-9 of the Formula of Compassion are completed in this stage.

Now that you have found the fear that motivated the behavior, the next step is to ask yourself, “What belief triggered that behavior?” This is usually a core belief such as, “I must be perfect in order to have the right to exist.” Once you find the belief, you now have the gift; the recognition of that belief and the opportunity to change it.

At this point there is a sudden shift in your body. The empathy and sadness shift to overwhelming appreciation and gratitude for the other person as all anger, pain, and blame are transmuted. In this moment you release the other person totally and completely. You then apologize and validate the other person’s pain.

Step 9 of the Formula of Compassion:

Your only thought now is how to thank the other person for the gift. You do this by thanking them with a heart full of appreciation and gratitude. They will feel this. Once completed, you have cleared the mirror. The conflict is over and peace, love and harmony is reestablished. But there is an even greater reward; each party feels a greater degree of trust in the relationship because they know that when conflicts arise, each party will stay to work through the conflict and not run. by Jelaila Starr

Saturday thought...

As for the future, your task is not to foresee it, but to enable it.

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Friday, April 4, 2008


Integrity is the recognition of the fact that you cannot fake your consciousness, just as honesty is the recognition of the fact that you cannot fake existence—that man is an indivisible entity, an integrated unit of two attributes: of matter and consciousness, and that he may permit no breach between body and mind, between action and thought, between his life and his convictions—that, like a judge impervious to public opinion, he may not sacrifice his convictions to the wishes of others, be it the whole of mankind shouting pleas or threats against him—that courage and confidence are practical necessities, that courage is the practical form of being true to existence, of being true to truth, and confidence is the practical form of being true to one's own consciousness. - Ayn Rand excerpt

Thursday, April 3, 2008


Where did all the time go? Every day you wake up with a full day ahead of you, with plenty of time to work toward your goals. Then at the end of the day you often feel that you haven't gotten any closer. What happened?

Chances are, you were too busy. Being busy does not get anything done. Being busy just uses time. Take a look at how you spend your time. Ask yourself why you're doing the things you do. A look at your activities with the goal of making the best use of your time. Learn to say no to activities that just keep you busy but don't help you to accomplish anything.

Attitude can play a big part. If you take the attitude that you're trying to "just get through the day" that's exactly what you'll do -- just get through the day. When you adopt the mindset of "let's see how much I can accomplish today" then you'll likely get a lot more done.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Keep trying

People who ask our advice almost never take it. Yet we should never refuse to give it, upon request, for it often helps us to see our own way more clearly.

When I help others, I find it is myself that I truly heal.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008


Our collective challenge and opportunity is to surrender the illusions that keep us cocooned in assumptions and limitations. And, like the caterpillar, dissolve into our imaginal selves and redefine the world envisioning a future that welcomes the butterfly.

Let it go.

The way you feel As you go through this day, make an effort to notice one small, insignificant little frustration that you'd normally get upset about. Then do yourself a favor, and simply let it go.

The little things most certainly do not have to get you down. And neither do the big things.

At any moment, the way you feel is the way you choose to feel. The way you respond is the way you choose to respond.

Do you really wish to be under the control of those who do not have your best interest at heart?

Of course you don't.